You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize