Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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