if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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