You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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