how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
