Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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