And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
