yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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