Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
