Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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