Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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