There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
