Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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