absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I see more hoeing in ur future
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
