in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
