So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
