I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
yea but for you.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
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better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
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Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening