So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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