I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
