Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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