When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
