I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
