My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.