I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
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Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
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So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.