i was born a porn star she said
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
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He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once