2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.