You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
