Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
