yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
