Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i think i have two assholes
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
