Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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