My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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