eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
