I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
