drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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