just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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