I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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