she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
