...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
