Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He better not be in your backpack
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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