At least make sure they are 18
Why
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
