so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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