btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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