I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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