I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
How external is "for external use only"?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
