Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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