my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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