Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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