The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
