He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
