I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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