He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
