it wasn't lemon gatorade
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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