dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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