i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize