quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
