hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
