Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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