I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
as a side note pls kill me
Success! We fucked roommates!
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