Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
